A happy home being with
a wise choice of a marriage partner. We therefore submit the following
questions as a guide for our young people as they seek out their companion
1. Is this person eligible for marriage?
There are those who have a right to marry according to the laws of our
state, but who do not have a right to marry according to the law of God.
God's authority is supreme, and the Christian must abide by His law whenever
there is a conflict between His law and governmental law.
God's law is that only those who are divorced
for the cause of fornication have a right to remarry. "And I say to you,
whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries
another, commits adultery, and whoever marries her ho is divorced commits
adultery" (Matthew 19:9). If one's marriage partner is guilty of
marital infidelity, he can put that partner away for that cause, and marry
another. If the divorce is for any other cause, he is ineligible for
2. Is this person a Christian? Many
problems can arise when a Christian is married to a non-Christian,
especially when it is the wife who is the Christian. Before any young lady
marries a non-Christian, she should consider the following problems which
often face the Christian in a mixed marriage.
Problems in attending services
She should ask herself, "What will I do if my
husband some Lord's day drives away in the car, leaving me with no
transportation to the services?" "What will I do if my husband announces
that his company is moving us to some city where no church of the Lord
meets?" Many women have faced these problems.
Problems in giving
The young lady loves the Lord and His work, and
wants to give liberally in support of it. Her husband, however, does not
share her convictions. He feels that a dollar is plenty to give.
Problems in training children
Some have succeeded in bringing up their
children to be Christians without the help of their companions. Eunice
succeeded with Timothy. But the influence of a father is great, and many
are the women who have not been able to overcome this influence to see their
children become Christians.
Problems in overcoming the influence of one's companion
Marrying with the hope of reforming one's
companion is a dangerous thing. Often the companion is lifted to a higher
standard, but seldom to the standard of a Christian.
Instead, as the non-Christian's standards are
raised, the Christian's standards are lowered, so that the two meet
somewhere in between. The young lady should realize that the man she
marries will be the greatest influence of an earthly nature on her life, and
she should ask herself, "Will this man help me to go to heaven?"
Recently a godly woman, having just received
word of her husband's death in an automobile accident, cried, "Why couldn't
it have been me or one of the children, for my husband was not ready to
Is the reader thinking she will convert her
husband after marriage? She may be able to do so, but statistics show that
her chances are not very good. The risk is too great. The only safe course
is for Christians to marry Christians.
3. Does this person possess strength of
character? Many boys and girls seem to want to do right, but are just
too easily influenced by their associates or by the circumstances which
surround them. Such weakness of character does not make for a good marriage
partner. If one wants a happy home, he should choose a companion who is
dependable, whose word can be trusted, who has the strength to do right,
even when all around him are doing wrong.
After all, if that young man or woman lies to
his parents or employer, he will some day lie to you. If he is excessively
jealous and possessive during courtship, he will manifest the same
weaknesses after marriage. If he is quick-tempered -- or flirty -- or a
"show-off" -- or a spendthrift -- or a "tightwad" -- now, he will be after
marriage. One cannot marry a moral weakling, and expect a happy home.
Yes, there will be faults and eccentricities
that must be accepted and tolerated in any happy relationship between two
people. But there are certain conditions that are practically intolerable,
and we hope that this article will help some young person avoid such.