A happy home begins with a wise choice
of a marriage partner. We therefore submit the following questions as a
guide for our young people as they seek out their companion for life.
1. Is
this person eligible for marriage?
There are those who have a right to marry according to the laws of our
state, but who do not have a right to marry according to the law of God.
God's authority is supreme, and the Christian must abide by His law
whenever there is a conflict between His law and governmental law.
God's law is that only those who are
divorced for the cause of fornication have a right to remarry. "And I
say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and
marries another, commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is
divorced commits adultery"
(Matthew 19:9).
If one's marriage partner is guilty of marital infidelity, he can put
that partner away for that cause, and marry another. If the divorce is
for any other cause, he is ineligible for marriage.
2. Is
this person a Christian? Many
problems can arise when a Christian is married to a non-Christian,
especially when it is the wife who is the Christian. Before any young
lady marries a non-Christian, she should consider the following problems
which often face the Christian in a mixed marriage.
a. Problems in
attending services. She should
ask herself, "What will I do if my husband some Lord's day drives away
in the car, leaving me with no transportation to the services?" "What
will I do if my husband announces that his company is moving us to some
city where no church of the Lord meets?" Many women have faced these
problems.
b. Problems in
giving. The young lady loves
the Lord and His work, and wants to give liberally in support of it. Her
husband, however, does not share her convictions. He feels that a
dollar is plenty to give.
c. Problems in
training children. Some have
succeeded in bringing up their children to be Christians without the
help of their companions. Eunice succeeded with Timothy. But the
influence of a father is great, and many are the women who have not been
able to overcome this influence to see their children become Christians.
d. Problems in
overcoming the influence of one's companion.
Marrying with the hope of reforming one's companion is a dangerous
thing. Often the companion is lifted to a higher standard, but seldom to
the standard of a Christian. Instead, as the non-Christian's standards
are raised, the Christian's standards are lowered, so that the two meet
somewhere in between. The young lady should realize that the man she
marries will be the greatest influence of an earthly nature on her life,
and she should ask herself, "Will this man help me to go to heaven?"
e. Emotional
problems. Recently a godly
woman, having just received word of her husband's death in an automobile
accident, cried, "Why couldn't it have been me or one of the children,
for my husband was not ready to die?"
Is the reader thinking she will convert
her husband after marriage? She may be able to do so, but statistics
show that her chances are not very good. The risk is too great. The only
safe course is for Christians to marry Christians.
3. Does
this person possess strength of character?
Many boys and girls seem to want
to do right, but are just too easily influenced by their associates or
by the circumstances which surround them. Such weakness of character
does not make for a good marriage partner. If one wants a happy home, he
should choose a companion who is dependable, whose word can be trusted,
who has the strength to do right, even when all around him are doing
wrong.
After all, if that young man or woman
lies to his parents or employer, he will some day lie to you. If he is
excessively jealous and possessive during courtship, he will manifest
the same weaknesses after marriage. If he is quick-tempered -- or flirty
-- or a "show-off" -- or a spendthrift -- or a "tightwad" -- now, he
will be after marriage. One cannot marry a moral weakling, and expect a
happy home.
Yes, there will be faults and
eccentricities that must be accepted and tolerated in any happy
relationship between two people. But there are certain conditions that
are practically intolerable, and we hope that this article will help
some young person avoid such.
Other Articles
by Bill Hall
God Hates Divorce
Six Steps to a Broken Home
The Woman Whose Price is far Above
Rubies
